Christmas Character Comparisons: Oklahoma Edition

1. Barry Switzer is Papa Elf from Elf

There is just something whimsical about Barry Switzer that just makes you want to sit on his lap and have him twinkle some magic pixie dust in your hair. As the head elf, Papa Elf made sure that Santa’s sled worked after Kevin Durant told everyone that Santa did not exist. That’s the real reason he donated that money to Positive Tomorrows, not to help those kids but tell them that Santa didn’t exist.  Just like Papa Elf made the North Pole trains run on time, Barry Made the OU football team run. Both have great story telling ability where they forget what they were talking about mid-sentence and changes the subject to something that is completely sexist.

2. Sam Presti is George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life.

Who does Sam Presti relate to when it comes to a movie Christmas character? What about George Bailey from it’s a wonderful life. In the first part of the movie, Bailey is met with an unforeseen dilemma much like Presti was when KD left. Maybe the hometown bias has really consumed me but I thought KD was staying, had no idea that he was leaving until it happened. Thought the meetings with teams was just to get some more publicity. Then Presti made a deal with Westbrook to sign for three more years. It was like Christmas day. Then to cap it off, Presti signed Oladipo and Adams to long term deals. George Bailey, in the end, realizes that what’s around him is amazing, in a Thunder World it’s looking a lot more like a Wonderful Life than it did right after KD left.

3. Andre Roberson is Pigeon Lady from “Home Alone 2”

The heart-warming, covered in bird shit, homeless hero that helped save Kevin McAlester and ended Joe Pesci’s movie career. Why compare ‘Dre to this smelly, seed thrower? Because Andre Roberson is also a hero.  Sure, he may air ball some shots and physically scare people away with his free throw percentage, but explore deeper and you’ll find an elite wing defender, winning player, and a selfless teammate. Look past the gross veneer of his jump shot and appreciate the goodness he provides from within, whether its cutting, rebounding, on ball/off ball defense or just all-around effort. Hold your nose and take a couple shots if need to, but do yourself a favor this Christmas and watch Andre do the little things. Like Kevin, you’ll be glad you didn’t run this time.

4. Russell Westbrook is Kevin from Home Alone

While mom (Durant) and dad (Ibaka) left town it is up to Kevin (Westbrook) to defend his home from invaders. Using household items (Adams & Kanter) and clever tactics (triple doubles) he is able to put up a fight against the would-be intruders. Sure they may catch Kevin from time to time and the outcome may look bleak but one thing is for sure, every game they have played this season has been entreating.

5. Kevin Durant is a Leg Lamp from “A Christmas Story”

We all remember the seductive “major award” won by Ralphie’s father, who couldn’t? It was hot, I mean as far as appliances go, and after a failed protest from his wife, the lamp was proudly put on display for the whole neighborhood to enjoy… until it met its tragic fate. I couldn’t help but notice some interesting parallels between this and a certain former player. For starters, they are both cheap symbols. The leg represents sex but stops painfully short of actually imitating sex or some sort of lamp porn, a half-measure in a sense.  Sound familiar? We looked at KD like Gotham looked at Batman, and on the surface, we saw what we thought was a tough, fearless, and individual leader. Instead, we got the half-measure;  a thin-skinned, once in a lifetime talent that would rather be a follower and take the bus down the easy road, throwing people under it on the way. Like Ralphie’s Dad, we hung our “major award” on buildings, shops, and everywhere in between, until our beloved and fragile symbol shattered on the ground, teaching us a giant lesson in the process: Sometimes we only see what we want to see, until our wife smashes it on the floor. Also, texting Warriors players behind his teammates back (during the season) was a pretty slutty thing to do, even by this lamp’s standards.

6. Blake Griffin is Santa Claus from Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town

Okay besides the fact that they both have orange hair this is a good comparison. In the movie, Santa has to melt the old Winter Warlock. In Blake’s case, he is constantly melting old warlock Paul’s heart to pass the ball and keeping him from hitting other players in the lower extremities. Santa is not welcomed by all the townspeople mainly by Burgermeister Meisterburger. Blake and the Clippers have not always been welcomed in Los Angeles because the town was mainly run by the Lakers, but with a little Christmas Spirit, and the fact the Clippers are the better team now, the bandwagon fans have welcomed them with open arms.

And some Thunder Rogue One Comparisons

7. Billy Donovan is Cassian Andor

First off, if you haven’t seen “Rogue One” yet, see it. It’s fantastic. So who would Billy Donovan be if he was a character from the movie? Billy is obvious, right? He has to be Cassian Andor. Andor was the leader of the rogue one squad. He does what he must for his team to be successful and sometimes disobeys orders for the success of the mission. I like to think Billy occasionally throws down his board and tells Russell to go crazy on the other team. Let’s be honest, that’s a good game plan.

8. Victor Oladipo is Chirrut Imwe

What about Mr. Oladipo? He has to be Chirrut Imwe. Imwe is a blind monk and strong believer in the force. He doesn’t look like much, but he can take down 20 stormtroopers easily if he wanted to. Oladipo surprises fans every game with his play. Did you see that monster dunk on Dwight Howard coming? I didn’t think so. And neither did Imwe… because he’s blind.

#1, 2, 6,  Glen Chenoweth / #4, Daniel Stober / #3,5 Sam Agnitsch / #7,8 Shayden Smith

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s